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Position:Home>Poetry> Will this bird ever fly?Question: Will this bird ever fly!? Caged Bird
by Elaine P The cage door's latch is open, But still, she does not fly, Bound by Earth, by gravity, Her wings, unspread, may die!. Tweets and chirps make minor songs, A caged bird cannot shout, Unborn stay her major songs, Unless she ventures out!. How can she soar with singers!? How step beyond the Edge!? She must solve this mystery Or she will never fledge!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: what is ur story with birds!? lol nice poemWww@QuestionHome@Com The implicit comparison of the cage to an egg, when you write `fledge' in the last line, is astonishing; at this point the comparison is almost subliminal, and while your poem achieves quite a sweetness, I am not sure I would personally ever want to be so subtle as that (though `unborn!.!.!. minor songs' is a small amount of emphasis to this idea)!. I also like the sound of your multisyllable masculine rhymes (or off-rhymes) when you use them; gravity/fly/die is reminiscent of poetry/me in one of your Mars poems!. Bound `by' earth reveals your Stephen Hawking readings and makes this, too, a Mars poem in my opinion!. As a pianist, the only ideas that bother me a little bit are the puns on major songs/minor songs; I am not sure if they were intended to be specifically musical, but the inevitable association, for me, comes across as a bit odd!. Overall, there are many things I like in this poem!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Sung well this tune you laid upon the page!. Sad so many things are unwilling to step out and "fly"!. Maybe we should start a "wings for rent" concession stand! lol I liked the ending word you used!. Did not see that one coming or even heard it in a long time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Fear of the unknown is sometimes prevents us from moving forward, even when the place we are is a debilitating "cage"!. That first leap into the "mystery" is a leap of faith!. This is a lovely poem, sad but not without hope!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com "Hi!" thats sad to hear a tweety bird not fly!. May be a ride on Neomans merry go round, will make it feel momentum!. Great poem, flows well, but :!.( WELL DONE! Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com Comfort zones are sometimes hard to leave, great metaphor!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I feel for this bird, her instincts broken by the cage!. This poem is sad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Try a catapultWww@QuestionHome@Com beautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com Just let go!. You've got wings, you know!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |