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Question: Poem critique: The Hardest Person To Find!?
When this begun
The hardest person to find
Was the person I had always kept locked up inside
Through all the tears
That fell down from my crescent eyes
People say they could see everything I tried to hide
Out of all my fear
Locked up inside my heart
I can’t justify the way that things keep falling apart
So indenial
Of my faith, the person that lives inside
Who doesn’t want to hide
Who doesn’t want die
All that I live
Is what you give
Even though I feel so under known
I feel I’m standing in the darkness all alone
What I have found
Sleeps soft and sound
And lays upon the cold shattered ground
And it’s a person that I’ve ignored in my life
The hardest person to find


So what can I say
As I watch this sleeping angel laying down in my grave
Inside my mind
I know this is the rarest sight to see
Staring at the opposite end of me
The better half
The person that was never shown
As the other part of me left it over thrown
To sit and wait
Just left, numbing in my soul
And it’s losing control
As the days grow old
All that I live
Is what you give
Even though I feel so under known
I feel I’m standing in the darkness all alone
What I have found
Sleeps soft and sound
And lays upon the cold shattered ground
And it’s a person that I’ve ignored in my life
The hardest person to find
The other part of me
Just sits inside, hidden so deep
Just awaiting
For the day of it’s awakening
For my other side
Won’t let me lie
Myself into an early grave
It will break away
I’ve found myself todayWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Its nice!.!.!. I like it!. Its stimulatingly pleasant!.

Not sure the title is deep enough though


Try to tighten your poem, too many words
eg
sleeps soft and sound
it lays upon the cold shattered ground
a person I have ignored in my life

The phrase "so what can I say" is uneccesary

The other part of me
sits inside
hidden so deep
awaiting
its day of its awakening

My other side
etcWww@QuestionHome@Com

sorry but you lost me on the first line where you have begun instead of began - try reading it out loud to get right flowWww@QuestionHome@Com