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Question: Poem - A tale to be adheared!.!.!.thoughts!?
Mother always told me
never go out alone
and always remember my dear
never stray
too far from home

To the villagers
I was far too free spirited
they didnt agree when I ran
about the woods uninhibited

You know everyones a critic
I'd heard my mother say
they say that you will lead
all their sons astray

Then one dark cold night
I ventured far from home
It was then I felt afraid
and very much alone

For laying dormant in the swamps
was a creature all should fear
but the warnings that my mother gave
to them I did not adhere

While the creature slept
with both fangs it lived on kelp
Soon it would hear my steps
then there would be no one
around to help

As I walked the margin of safety
between the swamp and woods
hoping that all the old wives tales
were simply nothing but falsehoods

I rolled the stories around in my head
but that only made them real
If only I had listened to mother
then my blood it would not steal

But now it is too late
and from his slumber he does wake
I run through the trees
and wish that day would break

Down it swoops into my path
legs become locked in fear
For I know that the end of the life
I once knew is almost near!.!.!.!.

When day breaks
I will be no more than a tabloid
dead to the world I once knew
A tyro in this life I'm now living
alive yet I am dead
the taste for blood I now pursueWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well i'll tell ya sport, you weave an interesting tale, except he ending, it kinna threw me for a loop =couldn't you pursue the joys of helping others = you are still alive and were loving every minute of it==Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's really, really good!. Just fantastic!. I love the tone and your rhyme schemes are great!. I hardly have much else to say, it was great all over!. Oh and I love the eerie ending with the vampire and everything--good deal!.

lovely poem

CheersWww@QuestionHome@Com

you are sooo talented!. I LUV this poem! i like the fact that its about a vampire, very cool! <3Www@QuestionHome@Com

YAWN!.!.!.!.!.written by a child!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm not too sure about the last two lines!. The "alive yet I am dead" part when I read it, and said it out loud it doesn't roll off the tongue like the other verses maybe "alive yet dead" would sound better!. And the last line would sound a little better as "For the taste of blood I now pursue"!. The it's like a killer last line that hits hard!.

BUT, I love it!! I love these kinds of poems, I've always loved them since I was a young child and I was really glad to read this one! It's a great concept!. :D

Keep at it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow I really liked it!.
It had good rhythm and was suspensful!.
And spooooky! I like how the person did not believe the wise tales!.!.!.until the experience!. Interesting twist!.

I especially liked these lines:

"When day breaks
I will be no more than a tabloid
dead to the world I once knew
A tyro in this life I'm now living "

AHHH scary, scary--Vampires!Www@QuestionHome@Com