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Question: Poetry critique: Repetition of Your Kiss!?
this needs some work, suggestions welcome

i can't remember when we first met
nor can i recall our first night in bed
neither the very first time we would'nt forget
how we grow old together and give each other respect
i can't bring up what happened in the past
because i know thats something that won't last
it already ended a few years ago
through rain, sleet, hail, and snow
but there is one thing that i will forever reminise
and that is the sweet taste of your kiss

you ask me to dig deep inside myself
and tell you what are my emotions that are felt
but how can i respond to such a question
when i've already begun the digestion
of that sweet caress that graced upon my lips
that made me tremble from my head to my hips
i'm shrouded in a mist of passion
that engulfs my heart like a flame
the love we have jst maddens
and like a wild fire, can not be tamed
so i don't mean to be blunt
or seem oblivious to what you wish
it's just that, its one thing that i hunt
i only want your kissWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I feel like a broken record at times saying what i feel about your lines which hold emotions great and small which house your feelings which engulf me all love and pain heaven and hell youve been to both and came out strong my words are but a view, an angle if you choose that i tell you here today for even though i tell u this it ends with the last repetion of my kiss!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. idk if it made sense sorry for using your repition of the kiss thingWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like the way that there is a lot of feeling in this poem!. very good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Basic premise is wrong, cant remember first meeting or first love making, why were you that drunk!?

I well remember when we met!.
You on the street corner wet
customers a rarity in the rain
How I recall your refrain!.

Looking for Business, you did shout
Sorry lI'm broke I yell out
Well owe it me when we do it again
Let me in the car ,and out of the rain!.

And so our love we consumate
In the Ford near the palace gate
and several times in the next month
I look you up for a cheap bonk!.

I never forget your scarred face
the tatty cheap Ratners necklace
and your smell of unwashed clothes
enough to make me hold me nose!.

Yet through all our love survived
I waited for a month or five
and then an honest woman of you made
and saved a fortune I'd otherwise have paid!.

That's a love poemWww@QuestionHome@Com