When Lightning Strikes...Have you ever seen a Vietnamese form of poetry called L

Question: When Lightning Strikes!.!.!.Have you ever seen a Vietnamese form of poetry called Luc Bat!?

When Lightning Strikes

Fierce blackened clouds blow
and roll like waves below a squall
as nature's captive thrall!.
Heed, you, the warning bawl and roar
loosed by the mighty Thor
whose hammer falls, wherefore, brings fear
to those afar and near!.
A tempest so severe and dire!.!.!.
sodden sky ripe with ire!.!.!.
sends torrent winds afire with light
streaking through the black night!.
A silver bolt in flight is seen
to brighten space between the clouds
and make the Earth aglow

Here are the criteria for the Luc Bat:
http://www!.elfwood!.com/farp/thewriting/2!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This looks fascinating!. Will access the page later!.

It is very atmospheric (and I don't mean because of the weather references!)!.!.!.!.like a Wagnerian opera/a Shakespeare tragedy!.

Visually it makes you want to duck - each new phrase hits you and before you can recover, here comes another one!
I can't pick any particular line or phrase out for praise - because the whole verse is so impressive!.
I loved reading it aloud - it just begs to be declaimed (on stage)!.

One word only I would change!.!.!.!.!.!.fourth line from the bottom!.!.!.!.black needs to be blackened, or blackish, or darkest!.!.!.to maintain the momentum!.

Edit - Have just quickly read the criteria!.!.!.I am wrong according to this!.!.!.!.but, shouldn't your line 'to brighten space between the clouds' be 6 syllables!?
Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry girl but you can't use the L?c Bát format in English!. Why not!? Because Vietnamese is a tonal language and L?c Bát format is only applicable to a tonal language!. In a tonal language, when the pronunciation of a word changes (up or down), the meaning changes and that poses a challenge in the L?c bát format!. See the video at the link below!.
http://www!.youtube!.com/watch!?v=cg5W4IpmF!.!.!.
As English is a "flat" language, you can up or down the pronunciation any way without changing the meaning and thus won't face the challenge to overcome like in Vietnamese!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is much more than a canvas painted with words, it is a video!. Your talent for visual imagery and for engaging the senses is superb!. The storm you describe resonates with sound and vibration, so that the reader feels the electricity in the air!. I shall attempt a Luc Bat, although I doubt it will reach the level of your poem "When Lightning Strikes!."Www@QuestionHome@Com

Visual, imaginative, amazing -- every line contains a new bit of power until you climax with the Earth glowing again!.

This is a ride, building, building, building and then Wham! Thor's hammer strikes with a thunderous boom!.

I had never heard of the Luc Bat -- but your poem hits right on with the link you sent!. Love new styles -- and I love this poem!.

I live for thunder, lightning, rain -- and now you have written a favorite for me!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Reyn the artist, not a poet

Dayum girl, have you ever considered oil painting!. Incredible white light in that one!. Old prof once told me "without dark there is no light, without light there is no dark"

If I were a musician, I would create music for that lovely piece of Luc Bat, alas, a lowly artist!.!.!.

thank you for furthering my poetificationWww@QuestionHome@Com

I haven't seen it before!. I went to your link!. You've mastered the style!. Your words brought the storm to life!. From the black cluds to the silver lightning!. I especially like the ending, where you write about the space in between!. That is indeed overlooked when a storm is raging!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have created such a captivating poem! The imagery is exciting and beautifully drawn!. I have never heard of this form of poetry, but I love the way you have handled it!. The last five lines are my favorite part, where the beauty of a storm is most evident!. Lovely!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

So now, we have a new trend or what!? Do we do triples off of that or acrostics, acrosticized!? lol I will look into this structure you so eloquently used for your poem!. I am using my one phrase that I got permission on from Elaine: "aw shucks" it's good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I had never heard of it before, so thank you for this, and also thank you for writing this poem!. It is great to read aloud, because all these rhymes suddenly create a wonderful sound pattern!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

KA-razy!

I mean Dinky Dao!

The form is slightly similar to the English ballad!.

Your poem is very strong, conforming to the stencil and all!.

I love the classical feel!. TDWww@QuestionHome@Com

that s as bright as your heart s truth !.!.!. keep them coming like a herd of wild butterfliesWww@QuestionHome@Com

Never seen it that I'm aware of, but you sure did a great job of mastering it! VERY VIVID PICTURE!!Www@QuestionHome@Com