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Question: New poetry for you tp critique!?
The lines on the page!.!.!.
are like a canvas in white
both wait on anxiously
for the artists flight
rolling round in circles
the mind seems so numb
searching all around
for inspiration
The muse has vanished
the emptyness is close
when will my eyes be opened
the dry it makes me coarse
today for the first time
I spents the hours alone
just me and the lined paper
lost, forgotton, time moved on
The emptyness of paper
contradiction to the chaos
holding back frustration
at the mental artist block
trying to pass it bye
without a major crisis
but the words remain aloof
and the moral's undecidedWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I can see what you are trying to say here, but it just seems a bit of a mess!. obviously the poem is about writers block!?!? but you have linked it with an artist picture at the beginning but then not mentioned in the rest of the poem, it makes kindof makes that part meaningless!.
"The muse has vanished
the emptyness is close
when will my eyes be opened
the dry it makes me coarse" < this doesn't make much sense>
"the emptyness of paper
contradiction to the chaos" < I like this, nothing clear to write but the mind is full of ideas!.>
you have some good ideas and a good subject, keep it up, edit and post again if you have too, I like it but the poem is the personification of the meaning!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
nice on the slant rhyme, though this needs more clarity,
a great poem can take up to four years to perfect, I think that it could use more simple things, too verbose a little redundant,
but I love your concept!. Use this idea, see what you can changeWww@QuestionHome@Com
Darth Invader - isn't that a b3ta term!?
The poem seems alright, in an emo sort of way!. But it could do with scanning a little better!. And possibly rhyming!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Bollocks!.
Babs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretentious twuntWww@QuestionHome@Com
i like it
WELL DONE!Www@QuestionHome@Com