Good poem i made or what?

Question: Good poem i made or what!?

how can i improve:

Oh, so wonderful
Beautiful soul,
She always makes me feel so cold,
Attractive Eyes,
Make me shudder,
Maybe I should find another,
She's always so nice,
Always so Kind,
I wish one day she will be mine!.

&

A beautiful girl I always see,
Her heart so pure, filled with harmony,
Luscious hair, that always shines,
Makes me spend all my dimes,
I wish one day to truly see,
Someone to live forever with thee!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hey that is really good Thank-you for sharing it
God blessWww@QuestionHome@Com

You certainly have the natural talent to be a poet but often young poets fall into the creative trap of using words they don't really mean because those words rhyme!.

As you acquire a larger vocabulary you'll get away from this habit!. Re-read your poem as objectively as possible and see if you can find anything that needs editing or if there are any contradictions!.

And you might ask yourself, as a writer, a poet, about certain phrases you've used, like:

"Oh, so wonderful
Beautiful soul,
She always makes me feel so cold,"

Would a beautiful soul make someone feel cold!?

You have the natural talent to be a poet but you might want to edit what you write before posting something for others to read!. And be consistent!. Why are you capitalizing 'Eyes' and 'Kind' when no other words into each line is capitalized!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its pretty goodWww@QuestionHome@Com

great poemWww@QuestionHome@Com