Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Criticism on my latest poem?


Question: Criticism on my latest poem!?
Oh! How the wedding was perfect,
And Oh! How it led straight to disaster!.
Running straight into a head-on collision,
And neither of the two knew,
Just what they were getting themselves into!.

First came the child,
Then came the Arguments!.
Second came another child,
Then came the Arguments!.
Third came a new house,
Then came the Arguments!.
Fourth came the late nights,
Then came the Arguments!.
Fifth came the Arguments,
Then came the Arguments!.!.

And that second child,
He was just a little boy!.
Well, he stood there that one night,
Tensions were just not right!.
That boy-his world came crashing down,
Daddy's fist-mother comes crashing down!.

The little boy, he was struck with disaster!.
Flesh to flesh-He should have never known the feeling,
Of how a simple touch!.!.!. could cause so much

Disaster, such a perfect disaster!.


The poem is free verse and unedited, I like to keep my poems pure and not messed with!.
The poem is to raise awareness of the effects of abuse on the children!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it has a raw feel to it, you have something very impressed :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good!. I know alot of people who experienced this as a child!.Www@QuestionHome@Com