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Question: Revised poem: Hope it is appealing to the senses!?
Sprouted from a womb
Water sprinkled at its roots
Needed to grow
A necessity to live
Rays from the sun
Illuminating a small seed
The sparrows in the trees
Singing a song, rejoicing it seems
A new existence begun
A stem, slowly unveiling
A small bud
Fighting the world
Growing pains arising
To stand tall as the sky
And let others just be a silhouette
Waiting to be filled in
Like a white canvas, before Picasso paints
A dreamy future
Among natures chirp
The guardian is in the shadows
With open arms
Waiting till when your petals may fall
And the stem cringes
Not knowing
Water is needed to grow
A necessity to live!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like this, the imagery you inspire with these words!. I agree with the one above though'
Not knowing
Water is needed to grow
A necessity to live!.!.!.!.
this feels like it was not thought about as much as the rest of the poem, like you were stuck for an ending
I really like it though and think you write some excellent poems that inspire others to achieve the same imagery and syle!. sensational, thanxWww@QuestionHome@Com
Ok, I really liked all of it except for the last stanza!. You did a great job painting a picture with words, but the last stanza seemed like it was just thrown on to wrap things up!. Maybe change the last one so that it has good imagery like the rest of the poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well said! I do like the revised version -- it is stronger!.
The analogy of the new tree to a graduate is excellent!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i felt it and i like it alot
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that is so beautiful!!
the metaphores are outstanding!.
kudos to you!
ciaoWww@QuestionHome@Com
Great, well thought out ,full of meaning, I hope to see this published, keep em coming!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Poetry isn't my thing, but this is about a tree growing, right!? Or is there a deeper meaning about life behind it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
OK you lost me on that last part!.
other than that I like it!. send me more!Www@QuestionHome@Com