Position:Home>Poetry> Is this a welcome break from Vampires?
Question: Is this a welcome break from Vampires!?
LetDown
Letting lose the confines of past
to fall where they may
I do, no longer care…
To what is my aversion towards
holding nothing back,
and reaching out to take the hand of
all I wish to have!?
Nothing done in selfish thought
all done in healthy love
love for one
and one for all!.
To taste the lips of those who share
power within gilded gaze
I am so unworthy of this loving hand
but I took it just the same!.
Now I have been falling hard
I can see the bottom rising
This may be a painful jolt
I know, though, I can survive the crash
to live and love anew…
just not you…
This really isn’t about anything in particular… simply a thought I thought worth sharing… what are your thoughts!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, it is a very welcomed break from the vampire serious; I don't get on here often enough to follow those continually, so when I got on here this morning it was rather pleasant to just find a single poem of yours!. Rather pleasant tone this one, and the punctuation made it easy to read ('cept for the "I do, no longer care!.!.!." line)!. I had to point that out since I've always given you grief about it!.
If I may make a suggestion: If you want a pause after the "I do" put it at the end of the second line; it would work better as an enjambment (rather than a caesura)!.
And maybe add "the" in front of "past" in the first line!.
Nice job--good to read your stuff again!. Maybe now that finals are over I'll be able to check out more!.
MixtliWww@QuestionHome@Com
I like the no-rhyme flow and tell but here is one thing I would change!.!.!. instead of, "I do, no longer care," I would say simply, "I no longer care!.!.!." it may not be as unique but it will cut down on the confusion!.!.!. it is like bump in the road for me!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Though many of us enjoyed the vampire series!.!.!. yes, this is a welcome release! I think that when you bind yourself to a line of poems, while all well and good, when you are done should take a break and do one-poem post for a little bit!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i really really like it!.it reminds me of how bella feels in the twilight saga!.i really really like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well it sounds like it is about something!.!.!.being hopeful that love is worth trying to find!.!.even if it takes awhile!.!.even after your heart has been broken!.!.You don't feel worthy but still you tryWww@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it, its very emotive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
yeah, i loved it! you're a really good poet, i can tell!. keep going!Www@QuestionHome@Com