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Question: Rate my poem please!.!?
Rate it out of 10, its my first time really trying to do this!. I want it to be good for my English project, so any suggestions I would love!. Thanks!.
All alone, dark
Lost in a dream which I can never be found!.
I’ve felt this way, forever
I tried to hide it, but it follows me
Why do I know what I want
But I cant reach this beyond
I’ve faced all the demons inside my head
And I’ve realized that everything
Wont get better
I could have the world
And I’d throw it away
All alone, dark
I’ve felt this way, forever
Yes, I know its a bit!.!.!. "Crazy person gonna kill himself" but, its what came out, don't judge me based on that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I give it 7 out of 10!. The ideas are good, they are real!. But the language is quite ordinary!. You want the truth, right!?
For an English project, try using some figures of speech, like metaphors, or some unusual words, like great writers do!. You might describe the sounds or smells you experience when you have these thoughts, or give some details on what it is you want and why it's impossible to reach!.
Good Luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Try to use the apostrophe throughout your work!. When it is in only a few words, the others stand out stark and incorrect!.
It's good work; you should be proud!. I never rate poetry!. Sorry!.
All alone, dark
Lost in a dream which I can never be found!. <-- do you mean where I can never be found!?
From this line:
I’ve faced all the demons inside my head
you begin using the be verb in various forms and place this into a passive state rather than active!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hey no way NO JUDGING is my motto
anywayz i've felt that way before and i'd say someone who can capture one of those pure human emotions is pretty good and should keep writing!. so do please keep writing i wanna see more nice job =)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think you are on the right track, but this needs some editing!.
You used the word I in all but 4 lines!. That distracted me!. You also over-used the passive voice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice!. Thats deep, a little depressing sure, but deep!. I'd give it a 10 out of 10!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love it! 9!.5 out of 10!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good for a first timer!.!. you just may have a magic hand for poetry !.:-)Www@QuestionHome@Com
thats deep,um its good how much do you want for itWww@QuestionHome@Com
i like it but the rhythm is kinda hard to follow 8/10Www@QuestionHome@Com
luvv it !!
10 !!
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