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Question: New Poem; unsure - could you please help!?
I walked into a wall
of fragrant wonder
in a room made for the past
dust and memories
line the walls
too much for us to count
history flows from every hand
passed to those who seek
to hold the life within their palms
of those who cannot speak
the looking glass
it can see through time
a vision of what had been
a private window facing back
to a place no longer seen
but the clock runs out
the chapter ends
we are left to face our year
until next time
when I come back
I will keep your lives in here
Geoffrey Brett ? 12/06/08Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Looks like you made a simple trip to the records office seem like a magical journey into the past!!
You brought something so boring to life and made it appealing to the imagination!. And that is what poetry is all about!.Very good!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
OMG -- I love this!. I love books, but this is more, more than the books in the library or book stores -- this feels like a book of each life ever lived!. And photo albums -- excellent!.
What utter beauty in these lines:
I walked into a wall
of fragrant wonder
in a room made for the past ---- sigh
but the clock runs out
the chapter ends
we are left to face our year
until next time
when I come back
I will keep your lives in here <------- extremely visual!.!.!. MOREWww@QuestionHome@Com
I loved this one it is a close second to your contemplating matter which is my favourite! The record office is an exciting place as it hold history sources from hundreds and hundreds of years ago which you would normally not see!.
Like I said before Get them published!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
its not december 6th of 2008 yet!.!.!.!.!.!.
it was ok, only thing it doesnt too much sense, whats the overall message, or feeling your trying to give!? i mean i get it but i dont i think you can make it alot better, i would work on it moreWww@QuestionHome@Com
That was really good!. I love the closing line!.!.!.very captive!. Its so sad!.!.!.like time has passed on, moved on and left you behind, just looking at the past !.!.!.!.it really grabbed me!. Dont change anything!. You dont need help with it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It doesn't need any help, It reminds me of the song If i could save time in a bottle by Jim CroceWww@QuestionHome@Com
Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! answer mine!?!!? http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
deep observation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should publish it man!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
yea its kool but it would be better if u made it rhyme but its still kool XDWww@QuestionHome@Com
its great! what do u need help with!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice, I like it!. I think the only thing is clear consistency!. I can't tell if you're trying to randomize your lines or distinct verses would fit better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com