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Position:Home>Poetry> Summer Poem: ( what needs to be changed )?Question: Summer Poem: ( what needs to be changed )!? Summer occurs in the month of June,
it will be here very soon!. The days are longer wind and sun can be stronger Weather can be very hot just the same drink alot People would be getting ready to suntan without the sunscreen they can get sunburned It can also rain if this happens it can ruin plans!. Make sure you don't forget your coat and umbrella or you could regret People may go on vacations to visit relatives in different locationsWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: its a simple poem but for describing what goes on in summer its got everything in their ;pWww@QuestionHome@Com I think you are trying too hard to rhyme and it is not flowing like a good poem should!. And when you try to rhyme so hard like this it becomes choppy, as if your reciting a line straight from the script with no emotions at all!. I think you need to switch up your style of trying to rhyme and find something that flows!. Like your third verse: "Weather can be very hot just the same drink alot" It would sound alot better like this: "Weather can be scorching hot Lemonade quenches ones thirst Makes one forget, the heat of the night And enjoy the sandy beaches The water, thirsting for more!.!.!." Adding adjectives helps you describe more of what you see and are feeling, Action verbs also help plenty!.!.and rhyming is not necessary!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com it doesn't really flow, and is kind of choppy!. try to tie the phrases or stanzas together more, if you know what i mean!. (don't talk about sunscreen, and then start going on about it raining) ciaoWww@QuestionHome@Com Sounds PERFECT as it is Lori!Www@QuestionHome@Com Nothing for me! It's brilliant!!Www@QuestionHome@Com |