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Question: Another slightly Emo poem!.!.!. does it sound alright!?
-Chained by Both
An image by the sun
burnt on an eye of obsidian
The turn is done
She has become one of us
Black stare and gold hair
I have found one
mirror to all the dreams
I have had in night
Fighting all that I once had
for fear that past
would grip me and keep me
from all I have seen of late
A release from bounds asked for
Out of one chained home
and into another
But was this asked for!?
Not my best but I still like it… can you help me find some meaning here!? I know there is something held within the words and I am not asking you to explain my poetry to me, simply tell me what it says to you so that I can see it from another’s perspective…Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Now though there are many intriguing images here there is some lack of flow, as has before been mentioned by others!. It shows that the one writing it is a poet but not focusing the attention of the flow as much as simply releasing an out-pour of energy welled up from some situational overload of the heart and mind!.!.!. not to mention the stress regions of the brain!Www@QuestionHome@Com
umm!. honestly it dosent flow well!. i mean if ur gona rhyme then u should thru-out the whole poem!.!. (but it dosent)!.!. i think i get what ur sayin!.!. but i cant relate to it!.!. do u kno what i mean !.!.it also dosent sound finished!.!. but like u said its not ur best!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It seems to me to be about finding a new love, but wandering if you wanted it or not!. The poem's alright, but it seems kind of amateur at times!. Lines 2, 5, 12, and 13 specifically!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
actually it dose flow pretty good
i give it 3!.5 out of 5
i like it
keep it comingWww@QuestionHome@Com
Enjoy the next sunrise which will bring a new day !.!.!.!.period :<)Www@QuestionHome@Com