A poem for you to sleep is this ok?

Question: A poem for you to sleep is this ok!?

when you see
the stars
with shining eyes

when you see
the sun
that calls for
open eyes

will just you
greet the new day!?

just to write
a poem
without structure

just to write a poem
for all to read !?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

The "blandness" of the last hides a deeper meaning!. I see the mediocrity displayed as well as the desire to pen and to pen something worthwhile!. Interesting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Day And Night:
During the day
the sun rises
displaying a reddish orange
that is beautiful
As the sun moves around
depend on the time of year
will depend on if the days are longer or not!.

Night
Sun goes to bed
with also a beautiful sunset
pinkish blue
As the night progresses
the moon would come out
along with the stars
that twinkle!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

"For all to read!." The writer is the most important reader, to
self, all other readers have a choice not to read, or read and
fluff it off as is!. As for the rest I agree with Elaine!.
Pen if you must, why not!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Truthfully, I don't like it!.
I understand the broken flow, but I just don't like it!.

"will just you"

I strongly dislike this placing of words!. It seriously just doesn't sound right!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not every poem is a complete success, but the need "just to write," is an urgent one!. You must keep doing so!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Turn each stanza into a single line and expand the poem more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

uh!.!.!.!. you lost me after greet the new day!?

i dont understand why you wrote the first part lovely, and then the last so!.!.!.blandly!.

sorryWww@QuestionHome@Com

Random
line breaks do
not a poem

make!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I didn't like it but then again what do I knowWww@QuestionHome@Com