What do you think of my poem (one of my best)?

Question: What do you think of my poem (one of my best)!?

I always wondered
What that feeling was
When I left
It felt as if I left a part of me behind
Like it stayed with you
Until we reunited, then it came back
But more came with it
Happiness and comfort came with it
What an amazing and wonderful feeling
When two people find one another
And they see things straight on
Eye to eye
Face to face
But nothing is more soul-saddling and heartbreaking
When they are a part
But the world rejoices in its touch
Love what a funny, amazing and beautiful
Thing it isWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It isn't difficult to understand the poem, not to anyone who's ever loved someone, been apart from them, then been reunited!. That being said, what we expect from the poem is something new!.!.!.why!? because we "have" been there and want to know what "you" felt, what "your" perspective might tell us that we "didn't" know!.

That being said, if we were to restructure your poem so that it didn't have line breaks, what would we have!? We'd have a paragraph from a novel!. In other words, this is a poetic narrative that uses only a few poetic devices!. You could easily rewrite this poem so that it only had 8 or 10 lines and it could say just as much!. I have to agree with another responder that "soul-saddling" is probably a malapropism!.!.!.so you need to make sure it's exactly the word you meant!.!.!.and "a part"!.!.!.didn't you mean "apart"!? This too would be a malapropism because they sound the same but mean two very different things!.

Please don't misunderstand our comments!.!.!.they are not mean, they don't put down your poem, they are meant to provide you with information on how you can improve what you've written!. It is just as difficult to offer criticism of a poem as it is for the poet to hear it!.!.!.these are your children and anything said about them other than "they are great" often causes the poet to act defensively!.!.!.please don't do that!. You have the heart of a poet, all you need to do is refine your skills!.!.!.and that takes time and practice!. If I thought you were hopeless, I wouldn't waste my time telling you this!.!.!.but I think you have potential, so I offer my input!. Don't concern yourself about whether this is your best poem or not, concern yourself with how you might make it better!.!.!.and from your comments, that appears to be what you'd like to do!.

Your images are fine, your voice is fine, just work on creating more with less!.!.!.show us, don't tell us!.!.!.and keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Please explain soul-saddling !.!. did you mean saddening!?
also I don't like repeating words as : "When I left It felt as if I left a part of me behind" maybe better: "When I left it felt as if a part of me remained behind" Who knows!! Poetry is poetry and just about anything goes!.!.!. some will like it and some will not!. Like any art form!. However, it is quite good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's a speech or a song, but not a poem!. It needs poetic structure!. I don't mind free-form poetry at all, but there has to be some poetic devices!.
If I paint a picture but use no discernable form or structure or method, why is it not just described as: 'placing paint on canvas'!?

Sorry to be blunt, but art should have some form as well as substance!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm eager to agree with Elurp!. This poem is just so feeble minded!. Sure it tells of a truth we can all relate to, but that truth is weakened by such common word usage!.
"Eye to eye, and face to face!."
Is just bland!.
It didn't rhythm either, and the flow was dreadful!.

I give this poem a
Gimpy 4!.1/10
I've read worse!.

Just so you know:
Every poem is from a person's heart and soul!. What nimrods!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Believe me , l can not describe how it was beautiful and meaningful for me to read , l felt so nice things!.!. its the best poem l have ever read until today!.!. l appreciated you and congratulation ( you must be professional poet )Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you are onto something worth giving praise too! keep writing from your heart and you will be surprised at how well you can write!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful and touching !.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow, that was beautiful!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

a little lame to be honest
but poetry is supposed to be from the soulWww@QuestionHome@Com

This is a really fantastic poem becuz when u read it u feel that its from the writers heart and soul!. Fantastic job!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It needs a pulse!.!.!.
I was trying to tap my foot with whatever rhythm I could find, but it was a little slow to follow to say the least!. I think you need more poetic devices as well, and on this part;
"It felt as if I left a part of me behind
Like it stayed with you!.!.!."
It should be "as if/though" not "like" because if you use the semi-simile in the line before with the word 'as', it sounds odd when you use "like"!.
It just would flow more nicely!.
The line before the last;
"Love what a funny, amazing and beautiful!.!.!."
Needs an alliteration if it is going to be so long, at least make it fun to say!. For that you can use a thesarus, beautiful, amazing, and funny are sort of cliche (no offense)!.
However, I am in favor of freeform poetry!. Though, I would like to point out that you should let it be more loose, even if it is hard for others to understand!.:) Play with the words in wacky formats and make it a balanced poem (because it's lacking the fun beat)!.
Hope this helps!.:)Www@QuestionHome@Com