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Position:Home>Poetry> What do u think of the poem?Question: What do u think of the poem!? Child eating fruits in the cemetery
From the tree next 2 him Not noticing that under him, lie the roots of whom died and the fruits flesh he's eating is a part of whom or might lie down, deep, underground Their earthly body is now a part of the living tree and the harvest it gives feeds the ones who live without a worry not understanding anything and they carry on, like life needers living on in the blurryWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Okay, well, the concept of our bodies returning to earth and nourishing us by nourishing the earth is a good concept, but this poem needs help!. The structure of the poem is choppy and haphazardly written with little thought concerning form!. also, you use the word "Whom" incorrectly!. Just say!.!.!.those who have died!. You might want to make the line "of whom or might!.!.!." make more sense!. I suspect you are trying to say!.!.!.of those who have died and will lie down deep underground!. Consider omitting the commas!. also, "like life needers living on in the blurry" sounds like you are trying to be abstract by mimicking a blurb from a speech used in the movie 'Mad Max', but it's not working!. Well, this is what I think and I hope that I have not discouraged you!. I think the poem has potential, but it needs a lot of work!. Good LuckWww@QuestionHome@Com Your vegetables are so very tasty!. Cecil do you grow them specially, "No I simply I grow them all In the plot there by the wall!." On the surface truth he told but the house was very old and remained unmodernised No flush lavatory inside Toilet arrangements they were crude A metal bucket where folk Pooed every few weeks a trench anew in the garden where plants grew/ Human dung to trenches went where it provided nutrients Vegetables to make grow big and fastly and to make them oh so tasty!. So as you eat your carrrot or spud I really don't think that you should Think too hard that at least some Of the nutrients came from someone's bum For Cecil Greenwood!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Very deep, profound,dark , truthful!.!.!.Rock on!Www@QuestionHome@Com cool i enjoy poems too but am not that good!.!. damn i just got up no time to whip one up but soon its nice i guess what it means that life goes on while our loves ones have goneWww@QuestionHome@Com It's ghoulish rubbish; not even proper English!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Not to bad!. And yes I've seen all the Mad Max movies numerous times!. They rock!. LOLWww@QuestionHome@Com I love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com it show what you are feeling really well!. i LOVE it!Www@QuestionHome@Com wow!.!.!.you're talent!!! keep writing!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |