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Question: Criticism much appreciated!.!.!.=]!?
Life’s Path
When I look backwards on my past,
I wonder to this day,
If I had chose another path,
Would my life be this way!?
Would I have seen the truths,
And discovered all the lies!?
Would I be oblivious to,
All those hidden smiles!?
To this day I wonder,
To this day I cry,
Would the other path ignored,
Have brought me to my life!?
I wonder to myself sometimes,
Late at night I think,
If I had missed the little things,
Would I still be the same!?
If all the secrets remained unknown,
If I’d ignored the facts,
Would I know myself today!?
Would this be my path!?
When I look backwards now,
I wonder to myself,
If I had chose this life-this way
Would my life's path
Still be the same!?
- Note To All:
Your criticism and advice is much appreciated, but if your just going to write 'i hated it' or 'i loved it'!.!.!.don't bother!. try to explain why you did/didn't like it for future reference!.!.!.
thanks =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it was really heavy!. liked were the poem went, just wish it had different words to describe what you ment!. other then the repetitive words, i loved this poem!. NICE job!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
firstly I would put it into stanzas to make for easier reading
overall I like it - just a few lines I would cane for better flow, it helps to read you work out loudly to feel the flow ny lines you stumble on need work!.
If I had chosen another path, (not chose)
Would my life be this way!? (needs another word, maybe - would my life be just this way)
To this day I wonder,
To this day I cry,
Would the other path ignored,(that path instead of the other)
(And)Late at night I think,
If I had missed the little things,
Would I still be the same!? (take out still)
If I had chose this life-this way(chosen)
Would my life's path
Still be the same!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really liked it because of the pattern!. I really liked it because it's like a story yet makes sense!. You made me wonder!.!.!.well I don't really need to!.!.!.for my age!. But It's really long and doesn't repeat which is good!. Send me more because I think I could learn from you! =] Very good and creative!.Www@QuestionHome@Com