Please rate and help with this?

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Question:

I was supposed to write a 'love' themed poem for school, but I figured it was good enough to try posting here!. Your thoughts!?

Beneath Falling Blossoms

Your love paints my skies, beautiful,
Beyond the limits of inked words!.
A passion indescribable,
But by the voice of yours I've heard!.

A symphony of tiny bells,
Rings from your lips, a miracle!.
At the gentle sound, my heart swells,
Beating to your words, lyrical!.

Your face, too, is pure and perfect,
With ruby lips and sapphire eyes!.
My illusions of you not wrecked,
I remain transfixed, hypnotized!.

Still searching for a love like this,
Where all faults and flaws are smoothened!.
I will wait for that first kiss,
Star-struck beneath falling blossoms!.

What do you think!? :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hey!.
What a vivid and colorful poem!
I had trouble reading this line,
"A passion indescribable,
But by the voice of yours I've heard!."
I think it's that but that threw me off, for a quick second!.

Normally when you use the word, With, as you did in stanza 10, there follows an action of some sort!.
Ex:
With three hats on my head!.
You kind of left a blank where there needed to be an action!.

"My illusions of you not wreaked!."

Think about adding, are, or haven't, or have not been!.
You don't really needed to, as far as I'm considered, but it just seems like better English!.

Even though you had a couple mistakes, and this poem is very lipstick, girly like, I'd give this poem
A lovely 8!.8/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

I thought that was a beautiful love poem and whoever it is for must be blushing!. I do wonder though, is it intentional that some stanzas are ABAB and some are ABAC!. If so, then nothing is wrong with that, but I was just wondering!. I think the best feature of this poem is all the adjectives and adverbs!. You have a very extensive vocabulary and I enjoyed reading it!.

Hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you did very well, but your meter tended to ramble a tiny bit, and just made a couple of lines need re-reading to get it right in my own head!. I am also enclosing a link to a good place to read about the different meters, as well as how to use them!.
http://www!.uncg!.edu/~htkirbys/meters!.htm
I use this one a lot!. My head won't hold it all!.
DondiWww@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!. That's all I can say really!. It was astounding! It gave me chill bumps!.!.!.that's how WOW it was!. This is coming from a poet that has been published!. Amazing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful!. Keep it up, girlWww@QuestionHome@Com

wow! you are great :)Www@QuestionHome@Com