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Question: I wrote 2 poems!.!.!.I want to know what you think I was writing about and if you like them keep in mind im 11!?
Ok my first one is
Sadness has Overcome
She is gone
He is gone
They are gone
And I don't know where
I miss her so
And I want you to know
I am gone too
but not with you
I am gone with her
I am gone with him
I am gone with them
She has not gone to heaven
She is not below
Just to let you know
She is out there
some where
Searching for her
Searching for him
Searching for me
this is to be continued because My next one is Longggg please don't be hars because I'm just 11 and I want to know what you think!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Even though the first poem was a tad bit trite, it was exceptionally well written!. Even though I don't quite understand the message, it did thrill me!.
I give your first one a
8!.9/10
This is because you are 11!. If you were older your first poem would have received a lower ranking, and if you were younger higher!.
In your second poem you made one large error!.
"And "it" can not slow down or go back!.
The use of the pronoun it, here, seems to me like you are referring to the ROAD!. Roads don't really move, dear!.
That is the only real problem that I can find!. I know you were using the road as a metaphor for life, and in that way it is good!.
Even though roads, don't really move to much, unless they are being built (which is what you could have added somehow) I like your message!. It's very true!. I don't know how some one at your age has that kind of philosophy figured out!.
I give it
A startling 9!.3
I think you just out beat every poet I have ever rated on yahoo answer (partially due to your age)!.
Don't stop writing poetry!. It's your genius!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I write lots of poems, maybe if you gave more detail, you'd be surprised how good it can get! If you ever need help, just ask, my solutions are: Try to add more details, and with MY poems I say what inspired me to write it!. People will take you more seriously and maybe read more of your poems!. Just a thought, good luck, you have a future for writing poetry!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I truly liked the first one a lot!.
Did the girl lose her parents!?
It was!.!.!.!.really very inciteful!.
The second one also was good, giving personification to the road!.
You have great potential as a writer!.
11 years old!?!? Are you sure!?!?!?
You are emotionally intelligent, and your writing is mature beyond your years!.
Great job! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the second one best - the first seems a little repetitive, but not bad for an 11-year old!.Www@QuestionHome@Com