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Question: Rate my poetry!?
O my delicate Cherry Blossom,
Fondly, let me hold you close,
To my lamenting breast,
And let my tears flow,
From my depressed eyes,
Into the innocent heart of you!.
Maybe you can see the grief,
That went unnoticed by the rational world,
That I never could discard,
From my withered heart;
O daughter of the Cherry tree,
Do look into my blue heart!.
Those born sane did never see,
The tears I shed, alone;
Those born in bliss did never realize
The torments I bore within!.
O my elegant blossom,
So now it’s you to whom I can expose
The pain bred in my deepest core,
Hoping you would understand,
For your sweet heart,
Has not been darkened,
By the evil that resides in the race,
Your identity has not been tarnished,
By the malice gripping the world;
You are still as pure,
As you were before the spring bloom,
As you were before the moment,
When you opened wide your innocent eyes,
To behold the world that you imagined good!.
But what did you see,
When you gazed into the depth of the dark
That stretched to distances far beyond!?
Did you see the love you desired!?
Did you discover the light you hoped to see!?
And then, your eyes must have filled with tears
That went unseen like mine!.
And before you could find any kind solace,
The springtime left,
And you fell from your Mother’s warm hold,
On to the wintry earth below,
Ever darker that the bad you saw,
And then came me,
As blue as you,
To lift to from where you lay,
Into my tear-stained fragile hands,
And hold you close, and provide you warmth,
But now it’s late, your life is nearly lost!.
But can you not see it still, O leaving soul,
Can you not feel the throbbing heart within me!?
O my fallen angelic spirit,
Stand the pain no more, no more,
Just leave this sinister inferno,
And come back never,
To suffer even more,
Just leave, just leave,
O sobbing soul,
Here is God’s call,
Just leave and I shall follow;
Heed his call and stretch yourself,
And make your flight to his paradise,
I shall fly with you like your silken pink robe,
O my Cherry Blossom love,
Go, take your flight,
From this inexorable plight!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
honestly its actually pretty good!. the reason people dont like its is because its oldish!. they are judging it on what they like, not how good it is!. I swear if you wrote this in like the 19th-18th-17th century, it would be in the history books :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'd give it a 3/5; it sounds typicalWww@QuestionHome@Com

its not bad i'll give u 6!.5/10Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't mean to be rude, but in all honestly I don't like it!.!.!.!.so about a 2 if that!.!.!.!.Sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the era of purely aethetic poetry (which im asuming ur trying to write) is long gone!. We stand on the shouldesr of giants!. Build on their works and make something new!. Right now what youve got is long winded and full of redundancy!. Poetry is concise, punchy and full of imagery!. Not about fexing your vocabluary's muscles!. Don't mean to be harsh but I had to learn that one day too and the sooner the better a poet u will be!.Www@QuestionHome@Com