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Question: Could y'alls critique this!.!.!.!?
Don’t Mess With My Heart

Do you know who I am
Do I know who you are
When you look at my face
Won’t see into my heart
I ain't what I seem
This is not what I said
I look into your heart
You look into my head
You screw me around
You mess with my heart
I wont stay the same
if you take me apart
In pieces I lay
All on the floor
I told you once
I’ll tell you once more
You mess with my head
You screw with my heart
I wont stay the same
when you take me apart
When you saw what I was
You didn’t see
That what I am
Is not what I seem
You thought you could mess
With the maze in my head
You thought you could throw
A sword through my heart
In pieces I lay
All on the floor
I’ve told you again
And I’ll tell you once more
I ain’t what I seem
This is not what I said
You screw with my heart
I’ll mess with your head!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There are definatly some technical poetry errors such as meter and rhyme, if you were going for a formal (real) poem!. Sounds more like song lyrics to me which isn't a bad thing!. I've written many poems that I have abandoned as poems and used them as lyrics!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the style is nice!. People should be able to feel impacted by this poem , and it is kind of muggy in places!. but I love the mysteries and sad way it is written!.Www@QuestionHome@Com