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Position:Home>Poetry> Do you like this poem? I wrote it.?Question: Do you like this poem!? I wrote it!.!? Just wrote this poem, well, what do you think of it!?
The roses lift their faces weeping Tears of early morning dew Sunrise dawns on a world still sleeping Faithless hearts and words untrue!. The bluebells hang their heads in pity Bowing down in graceful shame Night is lifting on the city Love is just another game!. The lark trills the day break songs Telling all the day is fair The sun is clouded by the wrongs Of people living without care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I think this poem is absolutely beautiful!. Great imagery and flow!. I wish we all cared more - about our Earth and each other!. This poem goes on my favorites list!Www@QuestionHome@Com If you follow the guys advice that said he thought 'love is just another game' is too cliche, you could change it to say this: The bluebells hang their heads in pity Bowing down in graceful shame Night is lifting on the city Exposing it's light on pain But I loved it!. The imagery/metaphors are strong and clear!. It has a flow and mood, and is powerful in meaning!. Great job :)Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, I like it very much!. This is my kind of poem!. Although you don't seem to follow a particular syllable count, the cadence still works!. Your rhyme and meter are great and the words just flow off the tongue!. It can best be described as melodious!. I really like your subject as well!. The imagery and personification are very nice!. Lovely work "Love is just another game" is not that cliche!.!.!.don't change a thing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's all right! Not great by any means, but you have plenty of time to practice and grow in your skills!. Try a different rhyme scheme! ABAB gets SO redundant and comes off very amateur-ish!. Want a rhyming challenge!? try ABA BCB CDC!.!.!.!.!.it's epic!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it all, except for "Love is just another game"!. Waaaay too cliche!. Make that line into pretty much anything else, and I'll be satisfied!. 9/10 as-is, 10/10 if you change that one line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow!.!.!. it's beautiful!. and the visuals were deep, gracefuel, and introspective and sad!. Do you write like this all the time!? I think you have a gift!. Thank you for sharing it with us!.Www@QuestionHome@Com NiiiiiiiiiceWww@QuestionHome@Com This is well penned!. The cliche, while cliche, fits so leave!. If you need to change try "life" would be my suggestion!. Post some more!. My compliments on this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com They are right about "Love!.!.!.!.game!." But be of good cheer, there's a lot more positive than negative here!. Just follow your Muse!. Do you have her cell phone number!?Www@QuestionHome@Com I love it! I think that it is very intellectual and deep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Damn you are good!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com |