Position:Home>Poetry> Ok i havent been writing poetry lately.... i finally got to it.. what do you thi

Chelsea, it doesn't sound "childish", but it needs editing!. If I can give you one piece of advice that I hope you absorb it is this: TAKE YOUR TIME!. Spelling and grammar errors are not just inconvenient, they take away from your poem!. It would be like an artist who says, "I'm sorry for not painting within the lines and for using the wrong shades of color, but what do you think of my painting!?" If the spelling is not right, correct it!.!.!.if the grammar needs work, correct it!. I know you're (as in "you are", not "your" as in something belonging to you) in a hurry to show us what you wrote, but trust me when I say "take your time" and make it as good as you can before you show it to us!.!.!.we'll still be here, and we'll appreciate the additional effort you took before you put your creation out for us to judge!.

As far as the poem goes, it's "okay"!. You need to work on your line breaks, your punctuation, your grammar, your spelling and you need to avoid "malapropisms"!.!.!.which is when you say things like "your not this" when you mean "you're not this" or when you say, "until your unexpecting" when you mean "until you're not expecting"!.!.!.in other words, it means "using the wrong word" because it sounded like the right word!.

Finally, once you think you have your poem in a proper state, have someone read it out loud to you!. Why!? because what you "think" you write is not always "what" you write!.!.!.and I don't mean just "you"!.!.!.I mean "every poet"!. The brain fills in gaps so you don't see them, even after you go over and over your poem looking for them!.!.!.but when someone else reads your poem, they don't know how it's supposed to sound, so they read it the way you wrote it and "bam!" you hear the missing pieces like guns going off in your head!.!.!.and that's why you need someone else to read your poem out loud to you!.

For someone who is only 13 years old, yet obviously has such a passion for poetry, I'd suggest you keep writing, but work on your editing!. also, keep this in mind: we, the audience, will always be more interested in how "you" see the world than what you have to say "about" how the world should be or what someone else may feel!. If you want to write another poem about anorexia, try writing about how you'd feel to see a friend going through it!.!.!.unless you suffer from it yourself!. Just a suggestion!.

!.!.!.meanwhile, please keep writing!.!.!.don't wait another 6 months :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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7,It sorta scares me,its also upsetting!.
it makes me feel guilty about me being skinny
but i loved it:]
once again,not to insult you ,lol i loved itWww@QuestionHome@Com

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very good, very meaningful, keep writing, try to keep poem as poetically contrived, and apply storyline separate for diary or book purposes, have fun,?
!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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It doesn't always work that way, but good job not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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nice

here are two more of mine also copyrighted and put in the same magazine as the other ones
when I was 13 and in 7th grade (written from my life)

"Life Is Hard"
life is hard!.
having to live according to a system!.
watching everything you say and do
make one false move and they're after you!.

to lie and to kill!.
to destroy and to steal!.
to make you cry,
and to make you ill!.

you had better watch out ,
because here they come!.
and once you're down
you know you're done!.
you'll never see
another ray of sun!.

It is too late
you can't go back!.
just say goodbye
to whatever things you'll lack!.


"Mother's Day"
mother's day comes only once a year
and today it's finally here
without you mom I would not be here
I love you more then you probably can see,
Mom you mean everything to me!
so on this day, I would like to say, in my own special way!.!.!.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAYWww@QuestionHome@Com

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