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Position:Home>Poetry> My poem "The Moon and The Sun"?Question: My poem "The Moon and The Sun"!? Please comment
The full moon creeps to touch my window ledge but a million stars shine brightly tonight the silver moon shimmers a nighttime so bright!. The moon and the stars are hidden away day light dawns the sun in the distance not gone forever but blinded by persistence!. Thanks Y!A http://poetrysamateur!.wordpress!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i love it "not gone forever but blinded by persistence" is a great line!. add more stanzas!. you're very talented!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like the idea and the way you wrote those 2 paragraphs, but add more to it, perhaps a more detailed description of day and night!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Try changing the word "but"( it sounds negative and hesitant) to something else like the word "and"!. Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com your poem is amazing try putting it in a magazine you could earn moeny and people would know your amazingly talentedWww@QuestionHome@Com I think its great, it gives you a calm, spirited feelingWww@QuestionHome@Com ur good i like emWww@QuestionHome@Com |