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Question: Is this a true Kyrielle!?
June 6, 2008: A Kyrielle
by Elaine P
http://en!.wikipedia!.org/wiki/KyrielleAbed I lie awake this night,
Distraught at men who need to fight,
My longing grows to touch the stars,
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
The night expands, it is so long,
I think of Earth and all that’s wrong,
What urges make Earth so bizarre!?
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
Dark night is fading into day,
My dreams seem silly, far away,
Should I at last all hope discard!?
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
In anguish I send up a prayer,
Through doubt that ever He was there,
Why would he keep Himself so far!?
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
Phoenix is digging through the ice,
Searching for ancient signs of life,
As Earth becomes one huge bazaar,
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
Faint beams of sunlight signal day,
All hope for sleep has passed away,
D-Day has troubled, hurt my heart,
Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?
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This is absolutely beautiful, and echoes a sentiment that I think every poet in this forum understands!. Mars is a haven for us, away from the politics, away from the defacing of nature, away from the abuse of people and life and mother nature!. And yet, while we have it solidly in our minds, the reality of it still remains elusive!. With poets like you at the helm, though, our ship will touch down smoothly and soon!. This time, I do believe the Phoenix will stay among her ashes, in a good way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Your dreams are not silly, I think a lot of us dream of a better place!. More of us need to dream about this better place and get together and make it a reality!. Sometimes I wish there was an escape from everything around me, into a world with people like you and all of the great poets here!.!.!.people who see the changes that need to be made and aren't afraid to fight for them!. Sometimes I feel like I am losing hope, too!. This poem is beautiful, touching, and I can most definitely relate to your thoughts!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I had to go to your link!. I did not know what a Kyrielle was!. Again, you teach me!. I find it very interesting!. I read your, 'Oh, when will we touch down on Mars!?' as the religious element of the poem!. For to me, it is a realized heaven represented!. The poem tells a wanting story, with hopes and dreams!. I enjoyed it immensely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a stunning poem with so much truth stated beautifully!. I simply love the lines "Phoenix is digging through the ice!.!.!.Searching for ancient signs of life"!. So much can be read into those lines!. You have taken a rigid form and made it flow elegantly!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
After reading this, I find myself totally in awe of your talent!. So really good, and you sound as if you would like to escape to Mars as much if not more so than myself!. Beauty from beauty, that is the beauty of you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
And with the Phoenix always comes a hope renewed of life!.
Lovely work!.!.!.so early in the morn! Flows smoothly and precise!.
It will still take a while for Mars, though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
From your link and TD's yesterday there appears to be some flexibility in the rhyme sequence with the exception of the last line, etc!. This is well done and flows well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow Elaine '
That was really such a beautiful poem and i think your words and your thoughts brought it together so well!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
What ever the form, the complete is a beatiful, thoughtful,
read!. Bravo!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a very good Martian poem!. To answer your Q, the rhyimng scheme is totally up to the writer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I truly enjoyed this! Fantastic!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is elegant and beautiful, very Elainy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Let me add one more voice to the laudatory chorus!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Fantastic!. Can you teach me to write with such depth!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very beautiful!. Keep the faith, one day we might get there!.Www@QuestionHome@Com