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Question: A poem i just wrote!.!.!.is it any good!?
I just wrote this and I'm a bit tired so spelling is off, just wanted your thoughs on it!.!.!.
I called you my best friend,
I never thought it would end!.
Started with a shared hobby,
I never thought it would get so sloppy!.
All those times we would just sit and talk,
We would get the horses and just walk!.
No secrets between us,
Every thing was shared cos neither of us would make a fuss!.
We had rough times,
Escaped police fines!.
I went to the end of the earth and back for you,
Time and time again and you acted like it was nothing new!.
Then one day you changed!.
Sure we still had a fun,
But it was like I was on a never ending run!.
No more getting the horses and going for a walk,
No more of our happy talks!.
All that seemed to come out of your lips,
Were things that made my stomache do flips!.
I do not know if you knew what you said,
Was going to me make me feel nothing but dread!.
You said you just want to see me happy,
Then why on earth did you say those things that made me feel crappy!.
I thought we learnt our lesson the first time!.
Maybe we did and we took the wrong path,
Maybe we were never ment to have those second laughs!.
I no longer will wear my heart on my sleve,
I will not fall and burn I will turn my back and leave!.
I trusted you and called you my best friend,
But never again this friendship has come to an end!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's a good poem, but you do need a little practice, so the words flow a little more, y' know!? It's pretty nice, great way to get out emotion, isn't it!? :]
- LinaWww@QuestionHome@Com
It made me giggle with glee at first!. I know that's not what you were going for, but a lot of your rhythms were just amateur!.
Words like, "Run, and fun," Happy and crappy!."
I'd say you know how write poetry, but it's kind dorky, and not a real developed talent yet!.
I adore your message, and your quasi-personification, and the story is childishly heart-breaking!.
I give it 7!.3/10Www@QuestionHome@Com
hey! that's really awesome! you canna become a poet oneday, did you know that, seriously, is really great!. I'm big fan of poetry!. i'm working on but i want to get better!. but yours is reallllllllllllllllllllly awesome and keep it up the good work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
consider not forcing the rhymes!. i mean, seriously, 'happy' and 'crappy'!? however, you are probably only in fifth or sixth grade, so cheer up - things can only get better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
No!.
I came across your poem all gay and happy
Then saw the words within were sh*t and crappy
I hope you have another hobby
Because your poem's rather sloppy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think your poem is very good! You had a nice use of your vocabulary! Is your poem like true!. Like did you write it about something that really happend or did you write it caz you were board!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
the poem is really good!.!.!.but the line
'then why on earth did you say those things that made me feel crappy!.'
it just kinda stands out!.!.!.not in a good way!.!.!.
hope it helps!.!.!. :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
Hey that s pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Thats very good!. I hope you and your friend can make amends!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice! Is it about your dog!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
very good - sensing a little more than a friendship thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com
yeah it's pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice poem!.!. If you had to give it a title what would it be!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
hey miss you have tallent keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com
yeh i think its really good !.!.you go girl! xWww@QuestionHome@Com