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Question: BaseBall!.!.!.what do you think!?
It was the last inning
and it didn't look good
there were already two outs
and the last batter stood

He stood there for a moment
his heart pounding like a drum
he took a quick breath, as
he positioned his thumbs

and in movie like fashion
he hurled the ball to the plate
and the scared determined batter
swung a little too late

Strike one, came the call
as the batter regained his poise
he could scarcely think clearly
with all the crowd's noise

The two stood again
the field grew quiet
and as the ball flew again
he figured he'd try it

Strike two, came the call
cold as the time before
he felt like he'd been smacked
with a cast iron door

The pitcher checked his sides
and took a deep breath
then hurled the ball as fast as he could
He was scared to death

the batter saw it coming
he knew this was his last shot
decided in the end
he'd give it all he's got

with one hefty pitch
and one mighty swing
he woke up with a start
as he heard the bell ringWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think you've got a good rhythmic start!. You had me rooting for the batter, and I thought it was interesting when you introducted the pitcher's feelings!. I would like to see that explored more!.

also, you use "stood" twice early on, and I think it would be more powerful to use another word the second time!.

Your ending is a surprise, and interesting!. I would recommend you explore it a little more!.

Good job on creating this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

O!.O niceWww@QuestionHome@Com

pretty good!Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow!. long!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

cool poemWww@QuestionHome@Com

haha!. nice, i like it a lot!
=)Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are sooo good at this!!! You really are!!!
I love reading your poetry!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com