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Question: Im writing a poem and i have all this so now how can i make it into a good poem!.!?
im writing this about me and my boyfriend but i want it to go good together and to sound like a good poem!. can anyone help me put this together to sound better!?
the way you gave me butterflies when i first met you
the way i felt the first time you walked towards me
the way i just walked up to you and spoke even though i was so nervous
the way i wished that it was me you had your arm around
the way i felt when i looked into your eyes it sent tingles down my spine
the way i hated to be tickled but i loved that you did it
the way i felt when you called me babe, your one and only babe
the way you always tell me you love me all the time it feels so amazing
the way you understand me and i understand you
the way you put your arms around me i felt so secure
the way you did all this was how i knew i loved youWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think I just commented on your other question about this poem lol!.
You need simple editing, read over it again, thinking of the emotions you want to convey!. 'The way' gets a little to repetitive!. Try removing it in certain places!.!.!.for example: "the way you put your arms around me I felt so secure
you did all this--I knew I loved you"
or at the beginning: "the way you gave me butterflies when i first met you
It was how I felt the first time you walked towards me
I walked up to you and spoke, as nervous as I was"
Let me know if you would like more assistance!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Great substance! Lines a little long though!. Use a thesaurus to get some more descriptive words in!. Really great idea for a poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
too repetitive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com