Im writing a poem tell me does this make sense?

Question: Im writing a poem tell me does this make sense!?

this is just the first two lines::

love is the way i felt when i first met you
love is the way i felt when you walked towards meWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think the way you did it below with the description was much better!. It gave it a more flow and feeling to the poem!. Use the description, but put it after the "love is ---!." Try it as the example below:

love is the way i felt when we first met,
the way i got butterflies in my stomach

love is the way i felt when you walked towards me,
my heart pounded so fast

Along those lines!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love is
Love is the way I felt when I first met you
love is the way I felt when you walked towards me
What I am experiencing is true
as you can see!.
Love is how we look at each other
for I hope to be yours forever
Love is seeing you because you are my happiness
and you take away the loneliness!.
I love you in my heart
making me happy is the art!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You need to feel your words for it to be more emotional!. Just write from your heart and it will continue to be as good as it is!.

Keep going, post it and yahoo answering people can help!.

GeneWww@QuestionHome@Com

It does make sense, but i think it needs to be more emotional!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it kinda doesn't because it sounds like ur using love as a verb!. something about it makes it sound awkward!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you need more emotions and maby come pare the love you some that is better!. if you need any more help let me know what i can doWww@QuestionHome@Com

Try making it a little less literal--focus on the intangible!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

nah dude this is a gtreat poem good job gurl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i cant even do one line like the ones u did besides just put ur heart thats all!!

God Bless YaWww@QuestionHome@Com

sounds great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com