I'm trying to answer this question:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.!.!.!.sneaking down the salt-caked vales; humming themes
Of ancient ways, on a thorn I spied a blight;
And blithely it ordained of me: fill your reams,
Your happy reams, with cotton paper bright!
Imprint the spectacle of days by hand
Upon the furrowed frontispiece of man,
That woman, lovely woman may command
The dim and salty tide, O Cuchulain!
Unloosing so, the fruminous power
Juged and unjuged, feet from talaria
Chained, and stamped coughing wrathful the bower
Of the night, unmuffled the vivaria,
Trampling out the vintage, shriller the shriekers,
But unhindered came it in dirty sneakers!.!.!.
Thx!.!.!.
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Here's a poem for you!. I think it explains well the troubles I have with your poem!.
==
I think the language too airy,
Be more grounded with your sneakers;
Fruminous power is much too scary
For the grand seekers
(they are particular about language)!.
Now clean that talaria off your page!
==
I did enjoy the rest of it!. Just those few words that seem to be too!.!.!.large!? You're using a lot of great words, but you can stand to cut a few of them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
To begin a critique on a sonnet, I have to break the syllables and add the syllable count -- to verify that you have achieved the first part of your plan!.
There are five lines with 11 syllables, so you need to rework these!. Use the dictionary to verify the syllables as well as the accent mark!.
sneak'-ing/ down' the/ salt'-caked/ vales'; hum/ming' themes/
That is the way you determine the iambic pentameter!.
So, you don't have a Shakespearean Sonnet -- yet!.
Work on this because it is unique -- you have a lot of talent to create "sonnetly" a poem about sneakers!.
(10)
Of an/cient ways/, on a/ thorn I/ spied a/ blight;
(11)
And blithe/ly it/ ordained/ of me/: fill your/ reams,
(11)
Your hap/py reams/, with cot/ton pa/per bright!/
(10)
Imprint/ the spec/tacle/ of days/ by hand/
(10)
Upon/ the fur/rowed front/ispiece/ of man,/
(10)
That wo/man, love/ly wo/man may/ command/
(10)
The dim/ and salt/y tide/, O Cu/chulain!/
(10)
Unloos/ing so/, the frum/inous/ power/
(10)
Juged and unjuged, feet from talaria
{{Please verify this line}}
Chained, and/ stamped cough/ing wrath/ful the/ bower/
(10)
Of the/ night, un/muffled/ the viv/ari/a,
(11)
Trampling/ out the/ vintage/, shriller/ the shriek/ers,
(11)
But un/hindered/ came it/ in dir/ty sneak/ers!.!.!.
(11)
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sonnet -- a poem normally of fourteen lines in any of several fixed verse and rhyme schemes, typically in rhymed iambic pentameter: sonnets characteristically express a single theme or idea See Petrarchan sonnet, Shakespearean sonnet
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Shakespearean sonnet
a sonnet composed of three quatrains, typically with the rhyme scheme abab cdcd efef, and a final couplet with the rhyme gg; English sonnet
~~~~~~
pentameter -- a line of verse containing five metrical feet or measures; esp!., English iambic pentameter
(Ex!.: He jests| at scars| who nev| er felt | a wound)Www@QuestionHome@Com