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Question: Is this good enough for #9 in the mansion series!?
Wandered away from ballad stanza to iambic tetrameter (quadrameter)!.
Mansion in the Darkness
This column made from single tree,
Was carved in eighteen fifty-three!.
Eleven columns on three sides,
From the sun, here’s where she hides!.
In the morning on the west,
At noon there is no side the best!.
In evening she sits on the east,
Plays dulcimer to sooth the beast!.
Her skin is alabaster white,
She goes out walking in the night!.
The lovely home the remnants of,
That which the worlds still calls true love!.
Her man is lying in his grave,
And for his touch doth lady crave!.
She goes to him each night to cry,
And wonder why he had to die!.
Her skin can’t stand the bright sunlight,
The blisters make an awful sight!.
Her mansion in magnolia trees,
Is all that’s left besides his bees!.
The carpet baggers took it all,
Except the house with haunted hall!.
His ghost roams through the house at night,
And all but her have such a fright!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Absolutely perfect, to add a dimension to the 'Mansion' series which is both haunting, lovely, and well-loved!. What else, who else, could walk the mansion so long, but love eternal!. And, with Eternity, you have closed the gap, added another piece of the puzzle, that will, ultimately result in a complete 'mansion'!.
Nothing will suffice but completion, and yet, there is so far to go!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The description of the house from all sides and at different times of the day and night, gives the reader a feeling of familiarity with this part of the mansion!. Then, the ghost roaming through the house, frightening all but his lover and the final reunion at the end!. It's beautiful and because of the seriousness of the subject, this weightier poetic form is probably more appropriate than the ballad form!. Waiting for #10!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is wonderful Dondi!. The description of the mansion is superb!. The sad woman craving her beloved is felt throughout!. I am glad they reunited!. It is a lovely tale of ghosts, but not a frightening one!. To the contrary, a comforting poem!. Of course, I am angry at what befell her! Those evil carpet baggers!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The story was vivid as ever - however- it seems that it didn't flow as "airily" as your previous chapter #6!. It seemed this beat is adding more "concrete" to the feeling!. ?Www@QuestionHome@Com
From what I have heard all your stuff is good!.!.More than adequate!.!.Wonderful,beautiful, well written as always!.!.Why don't you look into that box in the garage with all your old poems in it and throw us a real stinker just to mix it up a bit!? :PWww@QuestionHome@Com
Most certainly!. But you already knew that answer! Compliments to you on this fine pen!. Hopefully you won't be caught chatting!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is my first of your readings!. A great work of art!. Like the flow and rhythm of iambic!. The ending was a good finish!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You ask!? You ought to know it most certainly is!. Now!.!.!.please (sob) quit taking me back to my ancestral digs!.!.!.I have work to do!.!.!.not dream of the old manse!Www@QuestionHome@Com
AWSOME!!.!.!.I felt it, I loved it!.!.!.Good Job!
Thank you for the smile : )
Peace and Love to all
R!.R!.B!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I havent read the other ones but it sounds nice to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com