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Question: My poem about a new experience!?
Icy crush
Fastening the straps on my bladed feet
then tightening for ankle support,
an awkward stumble at first i thought
but beginners excitement to ice the sheet!.
One foot, a second, collapsing i dread
silver blades slipping either way,
tightly gripped to the edge i'll stay
but you held me hand instead!.
Ice was foreign miss guiding my legs
arms swinging high neddlessly,
but the need for balance was key
my crush on the ice my heart i pledge!.
My hand comfortable in your little hand
trusting your guidance that every step,
my frantic walks, trip overs i'll never forget
tiny fingers leave my grip for me to crach land!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very, very good poem!. Makes me feel as if I am the one trying to ice skate!.
Excellent beginning:
Fastening the straps on my bladed feet
In one single phrase you show where you are and what you are going to do, plus the fact that this is uncomfortable because you call them bladed feet; one more comfortable would be more apt to say ice skates!.
I'm not sure what this line means:
Ice was foreign miss guiding my legs
could be
Ice was a foreign miss guiding my legs
but I'm not sure!.
arms swinging high neddlessly,
that last word should be needlessly
This sentence structure confuses me
my crush on the ice my heart i pledge
I'd love to know what you mean because I do like your poem; I want to see it clearly!.
Love the ending!.
Amazing how the human mind reads the correct letters even when they are not there -- I had to read the last line 3 times before I caught crach land!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this poem is amazing! i love how the first and fourth line rhyme! you should be a writer!. i hope you become that cause i would totally buy your bookWww@QuestionHome@Com