Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my poem? *13*?


Question: What do you think of my poem!? *13*!?
The brokenness that has chipped away
and that has already chiszled through
doesn't seem enough for me
and surely not enough for you

Can't you see I am standing there
with a fake smile that my eyes stare through
Smile at me and tell me you care
or at least I'm not enough for you

Just tell me I'm not enough for you
You don't need a que
So my sickness won't get worse;
my simple love for you

But I need you, you know
More than anything else
Like a flower needs its sunlight
but your cooling me; letting me welt

And the sun and the showers
wont bring me happiness
like they always did
So i'll sit and i'll cry

and try not to sigh
for that is what you forbid
because December's coming
and the sun's light is dead

And you are the sunlight
that my heart flutters to see
I wake up on the morning
hoping that you and i will be

The ticks and tock of the clock
are telling me time is out
See me now or will there be
no hope with out a doubt

The sun will not rise without the day
and you are the morning sun
So let the dawn break through the day
and fall in love with someoneWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its pretty good!.
i know wut u mean wen u say age doesn't matter,its just the wrods,cuz like u i,m also a young poet ,but at 14!.
Anywayz,i really liked how u found the perfect words to rhyme and it all made sense!. It was sorta deep too!. good job!.
=]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great poem is it like a lyric poem or something!? What is it!? I love it, its sooo good! I was wandering if I could use your poem on my project, I will give you credit of course!. Just wondering, because Im supposed to use a famous poets poem, but they all suck compared to yours! Would that be okay!? What should I credit to!? Your first name!? Thanx!Www@QuestionHome@Com

u knoe mama we lil gurls or teens have very big minds and hearts and we are capable of doing anythin and i love ure poem u should do research on like trying to find a publisher because thats beautiful and not only its beatiful but it sounds like true life listen just do research or ask how can u get a poem published u knoe people cud help u ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's beautiful!.

http://ericjerome!.proboards53!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!. I love it!. You've earned my respect as a friend poet!. Lol, okay, it's really good, and I wish I would've been the one to write it, but I wasn't, so your amazing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love it, very beautifulWww@QuestionHome@Com

its great!!!! super awesome!. you should get published or something!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you did very well at such a young ageWww@QuestionHome@Com