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Question: "Disturbed Slumber" Tribute to John McRae (In Flanders Fields) comments please!?
Beat the drums slowly
hear the weeping
wails of Taps,
O'er eras waves of past,
Everlasting,haunting echos call
to rise ghostly warriors laid to rest
where blood red poppies burst in bloom on acres field
of the western battlefield front!.
In grief, despair,disgust,
John penned a poem, symbolic heed,
To war lords every where, Beware
of battlefields harrow ground!.
His message blew across all oceans, seas of time,
Should war lords never battle their own quarrel,
warriors lying here beneath shall not, R!.I!.P!.
As long as bugle's charge is sound!.
Rescind; Grecian legend
anicent dying warriors
crowned with poppies blooms
abiding perfect sleep!
Seeds lay in slumber
soil deep awaiting patiently
for virgin churned up rooted ground
to rise in bursting bloom resound!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well without know anything about this John McRae it has got me wondering who he was!. Sounds like a big war soldier cursing the ground he's dieing on in his last moments!. Very intriguing! Thank you for sharing Jenny! ERRROOF!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Much, much better!. My suggestion would be to try to level the line lengths in beats!. Unless you are trying to make it free verse, usually the beats per line in the first stanza normally sets the tone for the rest!. A typo perhaps: did you mean "hallowed" or harrow on line 12!? My compliments, this sends a message clearly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wonderfull Talent is an appropriate comment and that is my comment!Www@QuestionHome@Com