Here is a poem... What can you say?

Question: Here is a poem!.!.!. What can you say!?

Awakened
sudden gush of pleasure
beneath thy skin
heat evoke emotion

felt the tide had risen
felt the slow motion
wave after wave strikened
nakedly possessed
hear the drummers beating
feel the rthmic rhymed
atuned to each body
moist of such delight

songs of the lost battle
conquered with a bliss
mighty is the lovers
post within the realmWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

To me it is about love and passion!. Although very well said, you have some areas that you need to look at!.

L2: do you need sudden!? or Pleasured gushed!?
L4: evokes instead of evoke
L5: had risen!? try rising
L7: strikened!? try striking
L9: try "the drums beating"
L10: maybe "rythmic pulses" or "rythmic rhymes"

These are just my suggestions so take them as that!. This overall is an excellent poem!. Some editing will only make it better!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's great!. I love your use of poetic techniques! Imagery being one of the dominant ones!. But i'm still not certain on what you are trying to talk about!. Is it perhaps a battle at sea!. So i suggest for you to make your idea clearer you write a bit more and pointing out exactly what the poem is about!. It is a great poem by the way! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

it lacks something!.!.!.!.!.(sorry!.!.!.!.no offense!.!.!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com

www!.poetry!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com

love itWww@QuestionHome@Com