Position:Home>Poetry> A new one for my fans...all two of them...?
Question: A new one for my fans!.!.!.all two of them!.!.!.!?
TRANSCENDENCE
Spiders scurry along every inch
Covering me in a silky cocoon
Still Silent Death
Shattering
Shedding my skin
Splitting into two parts
Two wholes!. One self
Neither Light nor Dark
Good nor Evil
Twilight embraces starlight
The Moon smiles shyly at the Sun
And my tale has just begun
Lay with me my brother; my friend
Wait with me until the end
Wait for time to begin again
Pain is normal so try not to scream
It will do you no good my love
Take small shallow breaths
Let Pain have you
Give you his gift of sanity
Please trust me
It won't be long now
Sliver Slithering
Slinking around your wrist
Cuffing Chaning
Uncurling your limbs
Revealing new wings
Lifting you slowly
Letting you fly
Find freedom
in your confinementWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is like a butterfly!. Should I be worried or amazed!. This is a beautiful poem, with Pain personified!.!.!.which you know I like, of course!. Honestly, I can't think of words to say!.!.!.my cousin just died, my brother has appendicitis, this is a beautiful poem!.!.!.*sigh*!. Sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
My SilkMade wings
branch to the sky
and spiders fly
around my mind
The wed of words
the web of lies
the knitted pain
seen in her eyes
I cannot bend
but only bind
The SilkMade strings
about my mind
they tell me I
can learn to fly
But all I see
is blackened sky
Shall I dance
in webed trance
or only bow
to low mans rants!?
Yet oh how tangled
am IWww@QuestionHome@Com
Do you want me to be honest!?
I wasn't very fond of it!. here is some true criticism!.
First, for this long of a poem, you should elongate the lines to add in more images!. Painting a picture in the reader's mind is one of the most important things when it comes to writing a poem!.
also, try adding in punctuation to add in beneficial pauses and to help guide your reader!. Try to find a steady beat, or perhaps experiment with different meters such as iambic meter!.
keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow that was really creative!. It's like a beautiful butterflyWww@QuestionHome@Com
Now you have 3 fans!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com