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Question: They called me Kate!.!.!. is this trying too hard!?
I watched him speak, avoiding my eyes,
and i wanted to run my finger over that scar on his face!.
I loved how he'd come up to me,
like a little boy with a crush and always calling me Kate!.
It was silly watching him play his little game on and on,
when i was ready to say he's almost got my heart,
But then i walked in on him saying I love you on the phone,
and it nearly tore me all apart!.
He said my smile can drive him crazy, and i think i almost blushed!.
He always stood so close to me, unaware of what he does!.
It hasn't been long but we knew each other like it was fate,
that we met and I had to smile when he, too, called me Kate!.
He's arms were strong, without thought i clung to them as he wished,
and let him whisper in my ear all night long!.
If i didn't know better I would have given him a kiss,
but he was going to be a father and it would have been so wrong!.
I told him i was kate, but of course, I wasn't really,
and as my name rolled upon his lips i almost felt sorry!.
But he was just a stranger and I've been around to see,
that all the men who called me Kate can never be with me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
No!. This is a perfect portrayal of what happens in your heart, in every single beat that it skipped upon seeing him!. This is very emotionally moving! May i ask you if you don't mind!? Is this all fiction or your own experience!? In either case, you have enticed me and the other readers!.!.!.moving us into another world, your world, putting us inside your head, your heart!. For that i can surely say that this is such a great poem!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Since "Kate" is not the true name - this word is acting like a hypnotic suggestion - a codeword!. A neat way to be separated from emotions - and to go through actions with no feeling!. Hear the Vulcans can do this too!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
No, the poem is very interesting in concept and ending!. I enjoyed reading!. My only suggestion would be to tighten by removing excess words that do not impact the lines!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow! quite romantic in tone!. I like this line:
"and let him whisper in my ear all night long!."
I'd rather hearken to such whispers all night long too!. But the previous line seems erratic!. "He's arms were strong| I suspect you mean "His arms were strong"!
If only he knew you better, he'd call you Kate! since all men who do so are condemned by some malignant fate 'never' to ever be with you!. Another unlucky ill-fated loser I'd say!.
No!. It's not trying too hard in my view!. It is one great poem, direct in moral direct in form and quite effective in telling it as it is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com