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Question: Please help with my poem!.!.!. I have to give it in two hours!!?
Tomorrow (in 2 hours), is my last day of school, and one of my teachers is leaving, so I'm giving her something!. I made a card with a note and poem in it, but I think that it's too stupid (the poem)!. I wrote a poem a few days ago that I was going to use, but I decided not to because I thought it was stupid, so I wrote this one!. Anyway, I decided to get help with it on here!. Please tell me what you think and if it's too stupid to give to a teacher!. I also made her a button that she can wear that has her funny name on it!. (It's a joke from her!.) Please no silly comments! It doesn't fit in this box, so I'll post it after this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's got a lot of good sentiment, but I tried some small changes to improve the meter!. See how you like it this way!.
You met me three years ago
So scared I couldn't speak
The class was frustrated
And I could only squeak
You changed the subject,
And saved me from derision
Thank you, Ms!. (name)
For your wise decision
Weeks went by while I
Searched for something to say
No one understood but you
I got better day by day
I still don’t say a lot
But that is how I am
But I know that I will get there
For you told me that I can
Thank you for teaching me
Thank you for your caring
Thanks for not getting angry
When I was just despairing
Your fun classes and your help
I will never forget
Because Spanish is, well, int'resting
With you it is the best!Www@QuestionHome@Com
To be honest, it is corny, but it isn't bad!. I imagine your teacher will love it!. The only thing I notice is this line:
But you knew I was gulping
You need another word besides gulping!. I don't quite understand the feeling, but this line throws off the flow!. Even trying, instead of gulping, but something else there I think would do the trick, otherwise, I think it will be much appreciated!.Www@QuestionHome@Com