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Question: Would you like to read my Good-copy poetry!?
My Calling
*When I first heard you sing
*When noises wanted me gone
*Your soft voice silenced the noise
*And all I could hear,
*Was you
When you caught me
I swear,
I could see the gold dust of night in your eyes
And it was the first star
That shine like no other
Wish I may
Oh, wish I might
Wish I could see you tonight!.
Oh please,
Let me go gravity
Walk off my shoulder
Take me to heaven
And I'll make you feel beautiful
*I don't mind saying hello everyday
*But what bugs me is this game
Even through you're that star up in his sky
Help me change my voice
So I can make a noise in the world
*But I can't hear,
*When voices are in my way
So stop this black light that shines on me
Before it picks me to my bones
But I always fall on my knees,
Asking for, sympaty
Hoping that time would take it away
If I were to tell you of the black sullen days of my life
It would make you think twice of my desguise
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Okay!.!.!.here's some editing suggestions:
The first time I ever heard you sing
Back when the noises wanted me gone
Your soft voice silenced their strident tones
Till all I could hear was you
You caught me by surprise, and I swear that
I could see gold-dust night lights in your eyes
Like the first star, shining like no other
"Wish I may, Oh, wish I might
See you like that here tonight!.
Release me, Oh gravity, let me go
Let me lift my shoulders to heaven
So I may more closely see Beauty's face
I don't mind the little daily hello's
But why must we play at this game
Surely you, the brightest star in my sky
Can help me change my voice
So I too can make a beautiful noise in the world
But I can't hear, voices are in my way
Please stop this black light that shines on me
Before it burns me to my bones
I fall to my knees, asking for sympathy
Begging time take it away
If I were to tell you
of my black sullen days
It would make you think twice
of my disguise
I must say that the poem wanders a bit!.!.!.it starts out almost sonnet like, but then turns in upon itself!.!.!.very anticlimatic!.!.!.you might consider ending the poem while it's still ahead and then writing another poem for the dark side!.
Just a thoughtWww@QuestionHome@Com