Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> How is this poem i wrote? be honest !?


Question: How is this poem i wrote!? be honest !!?
LOVE

You cry and weep,
It seems like you will never make it through this pain,
Your curse the guy that did this to you and you never want to feel like this again,
You avoid any relationship that gets to serious,
You keep to yourself and miss outings with friends,
Your heart feels heavy and cold,
Nothing like it used too, warm and light
You think you will never love again,

Until one day you look up and see white gleaming teeth,
A guy you have never seen before is smiling at you,
You quickly remind yourself that you hurt but can’t find the courage to step away,
He introduces himself and you hesitate,
Something feels different you think as you reply to him,
He flashes that great, perfect smile again and you are reminded of what you mother told you when you were younger:

“You will get hurt many times in your life by boys, but you mussent let that bring you down!. There are many fish in the sea and you will go through many of them, but there is a guy out there for you!. You just have to stay strong, be patient, and find him!.”

You then look into his eyes, take a deep breath and walk into a new place: love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it, but it would flow more nicely if you break up some of the longer lines into two lines!. As someone who has a tendency to write longer lines, I can tell you that it makes a poem easier to read when you know where to begin the next line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is really Sweet, I love it, In a way sad though!.
Im there now, except right now, there isnt anyone in my heart!.
Love is just a Lie!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like your style it's almost like mine!.
Ofcourse there is some one out there who can be your real love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's pretty good, I think!. I like the 2nd section best, although the gleaming white teeth part doesn't come out the best!. The rest is great!.!.!.keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds greatWww@QuestionHome@Com