What do you think of this poem? Constructive criticism only please.?

Question: What do you think of this poem!? Constructive criticism only please!.!?

Hear them scream!.
Feel the fear shiver through the night at their wails!.
A whine, then a shudder,
Many heartbeats cease!.
Eyes and bloodied metal glint in the moonlight!.
Tears mix with red rivers flowing,
Underneath the fires glowing!.
Crouched, in tense waiting,
Unable to sleep, unable to hope anymore!.
Are queen and country really worth those hours of torment!?
Blind eyes don’t see the suffering,
Only form dead crosses from the shards of shattered hope!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This is a powerful work, which pulls the reader in from that first abrupt line!.
There are some arresting images, leading to a very strong last two lines!. Despite initial impressions of near-chaos (no bad thing, given the subject) you are in control of the words and poetic effects here!.
The one thing I would change is to delete the whole line "Are queen and country !.!.!." It seems clumsy, and too obvious a thing to say; its preaching tone is out of place in this mostly superb piece of impressionistic description!. Perhaps mention "war" earlier in the poem, to clarify!?

Edit: ignore most of the unspecified negative comments here!.
This is good work!.
The poet Wifred Owen is well worth reading, however!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice Poem
The first few lines
I think of fear
that is enough to make someone's heartbeat cease
for sure
There is a bit of insomnia in here
because you are having trouble sleeping
from the tension and the stress
Hopes become faded because it has disappeared!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's not a poem just a collection of over dramatic statements reflecting your political bias masquerading as a poem!.

Try reading some war poetry and attempt to understand it 's rules of composition before attempting to be so bold again!.

I suggest Wilfred Owen!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. http://www!.hcu!.ox!.ac!.uk/jtap/warpoems!.ht!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry, but I didn't really connect with it!.!.!.!.just a jumble of words!.!.!.!.what was it supposed to be about!? I assume the Queen and Country was something to do with war, or troops, is it from a soldiers point of view!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Only critique I have is that with a little thought, the longer verses could match the shorter in length or vice a versa for a uniformity of form!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's excellent, I love its ambiguity!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

do you have personal experience of war!.!.!?!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The last few lines could use some workWww@QuestionHome@Com

oh i like it, its accurate!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

greatWww@QuestionHome@Com

Not my idea of a good poem sorryWww@QuestionHome@Com