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Position:Home>Poetry> If you're interested, comment on my poem?Question: If you're interested, comment on my poem!? Ripe with anger
Ripe with hate Ripe with sorrow That won't abate Ripe with anguish Ripe with scorn My deepest fear To die forlorn Ripe with madness Tainted guilt Last dram of innocence Forever spilt Maturing fruit Of evil begot Shall fall to earth And slowly rot -swooshWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Truthfully I don't like repetition of the word ripe even though the poem has meaning I think there is a better way of expressing your feelings with more clarified meaning!. Ripe only goes with the fruit but what else seems to be lost!. Look at it and try again!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Well, I think my comments depend on what you want in the line of commentary!. Hopefully, you're looking for constructive comments, so that's what I'll try to give you!. I think that it's obviously an emotional subject for you, but the reader doesn't know what the poem is actually about!. We only know that you're angry and hurt about something, not what it actually is!. Clarify what's going on and the poem will be stronger!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is very emotionally powerful, and enigmatic in that the story behind the feeling is only to be surmised!. It can be interpreted on different levels!. Probably because of my own background, it speaks to me of child abuse and the loss of innocence and lasting damage that it causes!. But, as I said, it can be read many ways!. Strong and effective writing here!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Well I sure know what this is about! Just remember, In the rotting fruit, a seed is found by some fowl, or a bear Who will take it to a distant place Deposit it, along with s(h)it In a glen or meadow fair!. And there it lies quiescent, with aromas quite putrescent Until it blooms so pleasant And so you shall move on to your next heartbreak affair!.Www@QuestionHome@Com it seems like there is a lot of tormented feelings going on here i hope this isnt how you really feel although this is really great you know they say the best work comes along with the worst but like it said this was hot keep your head upWww@QuestionHome@Com Wow those words do rhyme but the mental pain to write the verse is dramatic in your addressing your mental state!!! I hope you are feeling better now!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com Well penned with strong flow!. For as many times as you used ripe, it still works!. And this gives room for thought!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |