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Question: Feedback would be nice--thanks!!?
this is my 4th poem!.!.!.!.!.so thanks for the help
Don’t Fall
please don’t fall
away from me
i need you like a bird
needs wings
i treat you like a friend
but see you as a lover
i don’t know how else to say it
i will love you like no other
stand tall, stand proud
and always stand your ground
im oh so happy when you say
i wont give up and i will not stray
you seem so strong
so valiant and free
but i just hope
its not only a scene
you trust and trust
everyone you meet
i truly hope
you wont be beat
i’ve stood beside you
all the way
but now i think
its time to say
please don’t fall
away from me
i need you so much
like you wont believeWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
OMG for 13 you are awesome, keep up the great work, keep writing, the more you do this, the more you improve!.By the time you are 21 you'll be doing masterpieces hon!.Thankyou so much for sharing, this is great and really made me smile!.!.thanks again!. YOU ROCK!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well, Dewars is a blended scotch, YUK!
If you are 13, you have time to improve!.
This poem shows real potential!. You have a solid understanding of form and meter!. Keep it up!.
Read about single malts, the stuff Dewars is flavored with!. Then, in eight years, you can try some and puke!.
TDWww@QuestionHome@Com
it's cool!. i could make a pretty rocking song!. make the last 4 lines a refrain, find someone with a guitar and sing it out!Www@QuestionHome@Com
For 13 you have talent!. Your rhyme work is good!. You maintain the same number of lines (4) throughout your poem; this is good!.
Some tips!.!.!.
1) Work on the placement of your rhymes!. Most of your rhymes are the 2nd and 4th lines, but on your 3rd stanza they are on the 3rd and 4th lines!. And your first stanza you have no rhymes at all, which is okay but many readers maybe looking for them!.
2) Though this is poetry, many critics will be looking for capitalization ( I instead of i) and punctuations (periods, commas, etc)!.
3) Read aloud what you write to see if it 'flows' for you!. Flowing is important because when it read to others, listeners are drawn to your rhythm!. If they like it they will applaud you; if they don't they will fall asleep!.
4) Poetry is creative writing!. So you are free to write as you are inspired!. It is not important to rhyme at all or you can rhyme all the time!. If fact as you begin your journey as a poet and learn more about other poets, you will discover many of them don't use rhyme at all!. Some other methods they use are Meter and Free Form Writing!.
Good luck, hope to see some of your work in the future!.Www@QuestionHome@Com