Poetry:Critique this poem called Soothing You.?

Question: Poetry:Critique this poem called Soothing You!.!?

If I was your bath water so warm and wet,
I would circle your body with a warm caress!.
I would drip from your neck onto your breast, and taste your love as you rest!.
as you would finish, you would pull the plug, I would defy the laws of gravity and wouldn't go!.
I just want to wash your lovely body just once more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Jimi, you're a poet and now you know it!

If I was going to be something i would prefer to be a pair of panties or a bra!.

By the way, why is it that a woman has a pair of panties and just one bra!.!.!.!.hmmmm!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I can see where you are going with this, I just think it could do with more metaphor to describe the sensual and sexiness of the meaning, at the moment it is a bit too open, plain sight, if you know what I mean!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm going to take a bath now!.!.!.!.

very sexy, nicely executed my friend <3

(the only crit I'd have would be to lay it out a bit more instead of almost paragraph form *^_^*)Www@QuestionHome@Com

The idea you have is a good one but!.!.!.!. you have humanised the water which makes it a little explicit!. I can see where you are trying to go so keep going, practice makes perfect!! lolWww@QuestionHome@Com