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Question: Critique this please!!?
The wind today sings a powerful song,
A classic lovestruck tragedy,
But this song has a twist!.
There is no death, and no soul mates,
Just earth and sky, forever bonded!.
They used to sing a song of joy,
Of good things sure to come,
But now disaster's struck this land,
And all that's sung is sad!.
Disaster was the human race,
With blood stained hands, and dirtied souls,
We populate the land!.
No peace here, just war and hate,
Forever now, a sorrowful song,
Until the day we learn to love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Sorry but non of the lines correlate to what is being said, if "it sings a powerful song" and the song is a tragedy born of being lovestruck, then how is there a twist, it says no death no soul mates and now just war, sorrow, hate murderous people with dirty souls--earth and sky bonded forever used to sing joyfully of hope, where is the twist!? If there is war and hate there is death, if not of the flesh the spirit--rework it and I'm sure you will have a good poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Oh my! you wrote that huh!? wow great and it totally makes sense like some poetry doesnt but I guesse that the thing with poetry it doesnt have to! awesome poem! I would think of publish!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it, somewhat simplistic, though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com