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Question: Poem!. Do you like it!?!?
Lost within gloomy tears
the lonely boy hid and
buried away his fears

deep in his comforting pillow
no one could hear him weep
nor let out such a willow

just a small child
with a wide range of fears
his temper mild
and lost in tears

his whole life flashing before him
he held no authority in his hands
only depression
held by his inferiority

But a such a talent he held
drawing the great heavens above
still no one was there
he felt no love

Gloomy and cold
he'd lay there alone

often he'd cut
for he felt no one cared
no acceptance in high school
he often felt scared

off to the beach
under the tree
was the place he loved most
there held his memories
of him and the one love
he had every truly felt

For the first time in his life
he was no longer lonely
he found a girl
someone to hold he!.

she was his all
as he was her everything
they soon became close and cherished most memoriesWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
the poem was good, you show real potential, Is this where it ends, or is there more!? if it ends here maybe one more stanza to tell us if the boy remains lonely or if the girl gets him out of his inferiority complex!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

that is really good!. are you trying for a rhyme scheme!? you don't have to but some parts rhyme but others don't!. keep adding on!. you might want to enter a poetry contest!. check your local library!. keep writing :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

some paragraphs such as 3 are reaaly good but some paragraphs dnt rlly rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think its like a 3 out of 5 maybe you could edit paragraphs that are toward the endWww@QuestionHome@Com