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Question: A small poem i did please comment!?
What do you think of it!?
GTA Petrol Head
We've a petrol head suspect in sight
a trusted police patrol tagging,
black skid marks tread tight
grand theft auto justice lagging!.
Tilt left but right dodging through
motorway race, Drag & Drift,
sirens blare crazy red even blue
dozens on hand quick to shift!.
Adrenalin addict upholding
Winning!
no intension to bottle,
oncoming traffic sent off roading
recessive racer quick on the throttle!.
Screached, ripped, rubber burnin'
like fast and furious up a gear,
thrust with momentum, sent spinning
tail whipped from the rear!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Your subject is coming off as too simple! Do something to it, describe it more deeply!. For a subject that unpoetic, you really need to go above and beyond for it to be enjoyed!.
But, it is complete and fine, as poems go!. It's just the subject that's making it harder!. But, never change the subject of the poem because someone didn't enjoy it, just work on it harder!
65 out of 100!. If you don't agree, that's fine, it's just an opinion, but, what good is literature without opinion!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds like a B grade movie I once watched part of, but subject not considered, here is my take on your poem!.
You have a better than average handle on the rhyming, but the meter is really messed up!. Some line are iambic, some trochaic, and a couple are amphimacic!. The lines run everywhere from trimeter to pentameter, which makes the reading extremely difficult!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I enjoyed it!.
Well done!.
Just do a quick spell check and you did a very good job on punctuation, which a lot of people do horribly at!. lol!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
yeah the subject matter is fairly mundane it doesnt seem to have much direction and doesnt flow right it doesnt have its own style really!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
well you should keep on playing "Grand Theft Auto" you writing about it just doesn't make the grade !.!.!.!.sorry good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com
Oh la la! Muy bien!! I mean that was great!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
stinksWww@QuestionHome@Com