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Question: My poem!? 10 points to anybody!?
I haven't thought of a name yet!. Tell me what you think and any advice woulld be great!.
The unwonted tree leads me astray
Its flowing arms consume all heed
Sweeping fingers caress all prey
The stretching willow left to bleed
The movements echo as it sways
Within a scorching orange-red stir
The time distorts in novel ways
The face burning a florid blur
We gaze the other’s heart a sight
He bows before, begin our dance
And skip along in ancient light
He bows for twice, or more for chance
As the wick lessens to shrivel
Even the roots, they burn to black
Feathery caws turn the kindle
Of all wretched, it’s death to lack
Beauty becomes, barely knowing
Counting moments, the night burns on
Fellow Beauty keeps on showing
Calming darkness achieves its dawn
While the winds of warm day’s flow
The ashen beauty carries away
And spreads upon the land like snow
Beauty returns subtly gayWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
That is an amazing poem, one of the best that I've read! It's preposterously gorgeous without heed! I love the way your poem gently rhymes but isn't TO noticeable!. Its like a lyre's sweet hum, absolutely beautiful! The only thing i noticed about it was in your 3rd stanza, line 2 the wording is a bit strange!. If you mix that around it would be a poem worthy of publishing!. Great job! Enjoy the words of literature Bye! (P!.S!. very enjoyable!)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Shriveling Moments as a name maybe!.Something that uses the words shriviling!. Or Dwindling Fire or somethin!. The poem is great, and I don't particularly have anything to criticize so good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it maybe you should title it 'Of all Wretched, They Burn to Black'Www@QuestionHome@Com
nice poem, work on your meaning and word arrangements a little,Www@QuestionHome@Com
to dance with the treeWww@QuestionHome@Com
that makes no sense to meWww@QuestionHome@Com
Lame!. Now give me my ten points!Www@QuestionHome@Com