A poem from several months back, rewritten. Is it tighter.?

Question: A poem from several months back, rewritten!. Is it tighter!.!?

"unlife"

You'll never know,
the depths of my fears
watching my life
slipping away!.
Dazed and confused,
things I have dreamed
consigned to oblivion
longed to be free!.
Distracted by evil,
drugs in my way
one day I looked up
it all slipped away!.
No one to blame,
but me!.!.!.no one else!.
The reasons are mine
and all I have got!.
If I could tell you
one little thing,
don't get it twisted,
you've one chance to play!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Heyy,, this is excelent Steve!! I'm a big fan of this one!! Its very deep and it is very tight- in a good way!. Keep it up!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I REALLY liked it! I know I'm being a party pooper and all, but I do have one complaint: the "drugs in my way" part kind of threw me off, because it had such great imagery and that kind of upset that setting it was creating!. It also changed the way I interpreted the poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Prince, it couldn't be any plainer! Every verse and every line!. It is exceptionally great! It is good poetry! And I like the writing!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com